The good news is the gaining of clarity. I love to mess around with a camera and graphics programs because it’s all a bunch of fun, but all I need to do is look at some of the amazing work out there and realize I’ll never come close to some of those shots, those graphic designs. I’m okay with knowing it’s a field to have fun dabbling in. Same with guitar-playing, Guitar players – love guitars and guitar-playing. Been trying to learn thumb pick-fingerpicking techniques and it’s a whole vast universe of stuff to learn; but all I need to do is watch and listen to some of the amazing players out there and realize I’ll never come close to those sounds. I’m okay with knowing it’s a field to have fun dabbling in and to throw a private celebration when small steps are taken. But even more important: even if I did manage to gain amazing proficiency in guitar-playing or photography or graphic design, if I dare look at some of the stuff I’ve written – take the most recent – if I give Semen Springs a casual once-over…. no camera or guitar expertize I develop will ever come close to being in a comparable stance with something like Semen Springs. Even if a given version or section of a version would show clear need of improvement, the core of it makes me realize that’s my primary strength – oddly it’s the one that’s the most work and the most procrastinated. So that’s good news, to finally get that figured out.
The bad news is that’s it’s probably about 30 years too late. Tried peddling a few titles on Facebook, but there’s no way I can compete with cute kitty or puppy videos or political memes or quizzes about which country you should live in or…. or even without facebook, anywhere out there – can’t compete with Fifty Shades of Gray, or reality television shows. Jesus this post begins to sound snobbish. So be it. Ain’t my fault. The next thing to do is to quit caring. That’s hard because I look over something like the car-fucking scene in Semen Springs and feel more people should read it because they’ll find it highly entertaining. I think they’d enjoy the land of Semen Springs overall. Or the tale about the crows. Or the one with the tentacles and the big bleep and the peasants or…. well there’s a lot of worlds in some semblance of semi-completion that I think people would find entertaining. They probably would – 30 years ago.
So I don’t know what to do with this news that’s got a good side and a less good side.
Just keep pecking I reckon.