mini epiphany

fixing breakfast, something like the following formed a sketchy sentiment:

no amount of wishing or working will create a trip to the past so as to cause a magical improvement on how it is today.

I can’t go 30 or 40 years back in time and realize I’d really latch a loving grasp to poetry or poetics or creative wordsmithing in general, thus putting my progress today beyond what it is.

I can and nearly daily do see where the words I used for something I made yesterday or a year ago incur an incredibly debilitating compulsion to do some self-kicking because today I see how what was written could be better written today;

but I can’t do that; can’t go back and redo so as to eliminate what today incurs an impulse to do some self-kicking; what I can do is redo in this today; or let it go and do a new something;

but tomorrow the same thing: look back and see deficiencies that are impossible to erase; can’t go back and become aware of what I wasn’t aware of so as to have a longer legacy of awareness; can’t do it.

I think it is a cyclical, habitual, seed or source of self-defeat.


About Timmy the Scribbler

Love to write all kinds of stuff I love writing so many different kinds of stuff it is a constant struggle to narrow the focus to a manageable handful and let the others go. But a few years ago I dipped my fingers into a poetry pie and of all my uncertainties, one thing that is no uncertainty is that it is one passion that must remain, so maybe that's the one. I do dearly delight in chopping up fictional works into stanzas and syllables.
This entry was posted in the way I feel about it, thoughts, Uncategorized, what I learned today, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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