so I’ve been trying to assemble another little book because after finding out about Createspace and assembling the first little book (this one just in case), I’m hopelessly hooked on the whole self-publishing thing; but it’s hard because I keep running into obstacles, not the least of which is the existence of the first, as being a tangible product and having on hand the proof as well as a couple copies, I am able to review it as much as I want wherever I want. These reviews are always mixed and so they result in mixed motivations. Or determinations. Or conclusions. Part of me wants to use it as a way to nurture neighborly vibes. A way to let them get to know who their new neighbor is.
But I open to a random work and feel it is so lackluster. Not the time. Need more study and practice or maybe let it go, really let it go. They are also rather devout Christians. I’m pretty sure the poems in the little book I assembled do not qualify as out and out Satanic. But neither did I write them to consciously glorify the lord. I rather fear they glorify nothing but badly composed non-poems. Yet another mood or time or setting I look at them and think they aren’t that bad. And I remember being at a gathering where I gifted a loved one with a copy and another person read a couple from it and I watched her face literally change expressions at least twice. So I know she felt something.
Then again, I’ve read over them a thousand times and could spend months and months rewording this line and that line and adding and cutting here and there – and that was her first time reading the damn thing. I also get these new revelations about what a piece of writing ought to do and then go through the pieces I put in that little book and apply that revelation to them, and often have to put the thing down and walk away feeling totally defeated because I see nothing about them that comes close to doing what the late revelation said a piece of writing should do. Meaning to say: I’m just as hooked as the first time in putting together little books and I want to do another, itching to do it, itching bad; but it’s hard. Damn hard.